What God Can Do With Quiet #2

Are you worried that seeking silent, private times alone seems the opposite of “Christian?” Aren’t we supposed to love and serve other people? How can we do that when we are always trying to steal away by ourselves? Aren’t we being selfish? Henri Nouwen has something to say about this issue: these times actually enable us to be truly compassionate towards others.

In solitude we realize that nothing human is alien to us, that the roots of all conflict, war, injustice, cruelty, hatred, jealousy, and envy are deeply anchored in our heart. In solitude our heart of stone can be turned into a heart of flesh, a rebellious heart into a contrite heart, and a closed heart into a heart that can open itself to all suffering people in a gesture of solidarity…. Solitude molds self-righteous people into gentle, caring, forgiving persons who are so deeply convinced of their own great sinfulness and so fully aware of God’s even greater mercy that their life itself becomes ministry.

In other words, when you commute in total silence for 35 minutes your mind has time to mull over things that bother you and to understand them more fully. You begin to realize that your spouse’s faults are no greater than your own. You begin to understand that the things that drive you crazy about your kids are things they learned from you. You begin to catch a glimpse of how miserable your constantly complaining co-worker’s life must be. You are more prepared to respond with compassion to your co-worker and with a less self-righteous attitude toward your spouse and kids.

Now, admittedly, transformation is a long, slow process—-but we must make a start somewhere and a good place to start is carving out some silent times in our days which we turn over to God. Just turn off the radio (iPod, TV, whatever) and, as you begin to worry, feel angry, imagine yourself as king of the world, etc, turn your thoughts to God. Compare them to what you have been reading in the New Testament. Begin to laugh at yourself and talk your craziness over with God. If no one is within earshot you can do it out loud.

The quote is from Henri J.M. Nouwen, The Way of the Heart: Connecting with God through Prayer, Wisdom and Silence.