Continuing to Cast My Cares on Him

Last March I wrote about that ever-nerve-wracking subject of my son’s teacher placement. (See March 16 in the March archives). For me, class placement has always been scary. I have virtually no control over it. And, even if I could influence the teacher selection, I have no idea which teacher is best for son. In short, I am completely unable to manage this very big and influential area of Connor’s life—and I don’t like being unable to manage stuff. There is nothing to do in this situation but hand it over to God, which I did many times between March and August this year.

So, after all my prayers, my son ended up with the fluky, odd ball teaching situation. For two classes, he is with a teacher who has agreed to experiment with mixing borderline gifted, average and significantly challenged kids in one classroom. Consequently there is a lot of independent study going on. For two more classes he is with a teacher he had last year who he really didn’t want to have again. And for all classes there is also another experienced teacher present who is possibly the polar opposite of my son. Connor is a would-be class clown and he describes this man as having no sense of humor whatsoever.

And it is working out beautifully! Connor loves the classroom with the mix of kids, along with the independence and the leadership opportunities that are inherent in the situation. He loves the teacher he did not want to have again and somehow even the teacher with no sense of humor is adding value. Connor came in the door the other day and said, “You know, I actually like school these days.” Wow. I couldn’t have engineered that type of school year if I tried!

Oddly enough, I hesitated a bit before posting this. I found myself thinking, “It may be too good to be true.” “Maybe it won’t last.” “Who knows how these teachers will really turn out to be come June.” I realized that while I was thanking God for answering my prayers with one half of my brain, with the other half I was doubting His continued answer!

Why in the world I do not trust God to continue keeping Connor under his care in the matter of schooling, I have no idea. So, I'm back to where I was last March. I find I need to place all this back in the hands of God, and ask for His continued grace and love. And then I need to walk away, assuming that He will take care of it. Of course, knowing that He has already answered this prayer helps me to leave it in His hands again--and I guess that's a bit of what growing in faith means.