Lashing Out at God

Over the weekend my son was invited to a friend’s for the afternoon. He asked to be picked up at 6:45 after eating dinner with his friend. At 6:40, just as I was stepping into the car to go get him, he called and asked if he could stay longer. He explained that they had just finishing building a fort and they hadn’t had a chance to enjoy using it yet. He added that he had no homework. OK. Reasonable request. I asked how much longer he wanted to stay and he said, “Pick me up at 7:15.” That was fine with me. I want my son to have fun with friends, build forts and get to enjoy them.

Unfortunately, when I picked Connor up at 7:15, he was furious that his visit was over. And when I say furious, I don’t mean disappointed or sad. I mean furious. He jumped in the car, slamming the door, almost breaking a toy he had with him. He neither said goodbye to his friend nor hello to me. When I asked him what his problem was, he said, “You made me leave too early.”

Now I hadn’t made him do anything. In fact, he himself had chosen the pick-up time. But in his desire to vent his anger on someone he didn’t seem to remember that fact or to realize how absurd his statement was. Naturally I said, “If you wanted to stay longer, why didn’t you just call me and ask?” He replied, “Because I thought you would yell at me.” Now, this was even more absurd since I had, just half an hour before, very willingly allowed him to stay longer and even asked him to name the time he wanted to be picked up. And, to the best of my knowledge, neither my husband nor I have ever yelled at our kids for wanting to stay at a friend’s house longer than originally planned (although occasionally we say “no” to our daughter who likes to begin the weekend with a Friday evening sleepover and continue non-stop socializing until nightfall on Sunday).

The truth is, my son didn’t like the fact that playtime was over and he took that anger out on me, the benefactor who had allowed him to have a play time in the first place and who had willingly extended it for no reason other than to give him pleasure. He chose to lash out at me rather than to call me and see whether it would fit in with my plans to allow him to stay longer.

I wonder how often I do the same thing with God. How often do I get frustrated with how things are turning out in my life and blame Him rather than recognize that my disappointment is a result of my own choices? How often do I miss out on something better because I failed to ask Him to intervene? And how often is my failure to ask actually the equivalent of accusing God of being a harsh and unreasonable parent?

"Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!" Matthew 7:9-11

New Year's Clean-Up

For me, the first few weeks of January are all about cleaning up. As soon as New Year’s Day fades, the Christmas stuff must be cleared away. Each year, I notice that the Christmas stuff with which I deal falls roughly into three categories:

• There are things that will rot, spoil and become downright dangerous if left unattended. Things like that last piece of cheesecake I pushed to the back of the fridge or the dried up Christmas tree dangerously close to the fireplace.

• Then there are things that if not immediately tossed will lead me in the opposite direction of where I want to head. Half eaten boxes of nuts, candy canes and leftover Christmas cookies.

• And finally, there are things that, while appropriate for Christmas, begin to be somewhat inconvenient by mid-January. There’s nothing really wrong with them-- but maintaining them interferes with moving on to other things. The Christmas cards on the mantle keep me from dusting and distract me as I reread each one. The wreath on the front door drops needles that must be swept up every time I step out the door. And, of course, the outdoor lights are beginning to look a little silly.

I tackled all these things wholeheartedly the first couple weeks of January, determined to get my house in order. But it occurs to me that my life could use some determined post-Christmas New Year's clean-up too. Afterall, my life is post Christmas--Christ has entered my life just as He once entered the world--and it is now not just a new year but a whole new life. So what needs to be tossed out so I can move on?

• What is the truly dangerous stuff that must go immediately? Are there sins that I toy with? Certain daydreams? A tendency to lie? To gossip?

• And what are the things that, while not inherently sinful, always seem to head me off in the wrong direction and prevent me from growing? A particular set of friends? Some of the books and magazines I read?

• Finally, what are the things that still hang on from an old way of life? Things that slow me down and aren’t really becoming to a new blood-bought life? The amount of money I spend on clothes? The amount of time I spend obsessing about my body? A goal at work?

Got your list? I’ve got mine. Here’s to the New Year!