Praying Like a Kid #3 (Or Saying Thank You with a Clean Heart)

Well, you will be relieved to hear that we finally purchased the pumpkin. The best part of the event for me of course was when Connor jumped into the car after picking his pumpkin and said happily, “Thanks, Mom.” Amazingly, as he said thanks he looked down at his feet and his pumpkin and realized they were covered with dirt. Unprompted by me, he got himself and the pumpkin out of the car and attempted to wipe them off. Then he got back in the car and said, “OK, that’s the best I can do. Sorry I'm not cleaner. Thanks for the pumpkin, Mom.”

All of this is good stuff to remember when I thank God for answering my persistent prayers.

Praying Like a Kid #2 (Or How God Answers Like a Parent)

Back to Connor and his pumpkin…

There are several circumstances in which I will not get a pumpkin for my one-track mind son and it occurs to me that they can teach me something about God’s reactions to my prayers.

I will not take Connor to get a pumpkin:

--if he storms in and demands a pumpkin as his right.

--if he complains that I am unfair and never give him pumpkins.

--if the way he is handling the rest of his life (i.e., homework and chores) doesn’t line up with taking the afternoon to go pick pumpkins.

--if he asks for an entire truckload of pumpkins.

It’s not that Connor has to be perfect or ask perfectly in order to get a pumpkin (in which case we would never get any pumpkins). It’s just that because I am a parent I am going to provide pumpkins in a certain way--a way that will lead him to greater levels of maturity—knowing that he will lead a happier and healthier life in the long run.

There’s one other circumstance that will stop me from answering Connor’s requests for a pumpkin today. I won’t buy him a pumpkin if the timing is wrong. I won’t get Connor a pumpkin too early because it will rot before Halloween and I know he will be disappointed. I won’t get him a pumpkin when he asks at 7 am before church or 9 pm when he is in pajamas. I won’t get him a pumpkin when his sister is not available to go with us since I want both kids to enjoy pumpkin picking together. But rest assured, I will not wait too long since I know the best pumpkins will be gone soon. He needs to trust that I will take him for the pumpkin when the timing is right.

So when I bring my requests before God I’m going to try to remember to analyze them this way:

--Am I demanding something from God as a right? Or do I realize I am asking for a gift?

--Am I complaining that I never get anything from God? Or am I remembering all the good things He’s already given me?

--Am I expecting Him to do all the giving although I haven’t bothered to do the basics He expects from me?

--Am I being a greedy pig? Or am I trusting that whatever amount He gives me will be exactly the right amount?

-- And do I want my request answered right this second? Or do I trust that His timing is the best timing because He knows more than me about my future?

Praying Like a Kid

There’s another characteristic of a child’s conversations with his parent that I think Christ wants us to understand when we pray: persistence. When a child asks Dad for something, he is a broken record. He has a one-track mind. He just keeps on asking day and night.

Right now my son is focused on getting a pumpkin. He began asking in early September back when any pumpkin we bought would have rotted before Halloween. He asked to be taken to get a pumpkin when I was in the middle of cooking dinner on Saturday night. He asked at 7 am on Sunday morning when we were trying to get ready for church. He asked again last night when he was already in pajamas. He asked me to bring the car to his bus stop after school today so we can immediately rush to the farm stand. And this persistence will continue until we get the pumpkin. Then it will switch to “When can we carve my pumpkin? Can we do it right now?”

We don’t usually use that kind of persistence when it comes to talking to God. At least I don’t. For one thing, it seems almost rude. For another, I get distracted and forget what I’m praying about and start making a grocery list or loading the dishwasher. But I think God wants us to be persistent. Right after Christ taught the disciples the Lord’s Prayer, He posed a hypothetical: Suppose you go to your friend at midnight and ask for some food. At first your friend may say, “It’s late, don’t bother me.” But because of your boldness he will get up and give you all that you need. Christ then explained: So what I’m saying is this, ask and keep on asking, knock and keep on knocking ( Luke 11:5-9.) His point really couldn’t be more obvious, could it? But just in case we missed it, Jesus made it again in Luke 18. He told the disciples a parable “to show them that they should always pray and not give up.” (Read the story in Luke 18:1-8.)

Think about Abraham, arguing with God about destroying Sodom. He bargained with God a full six rounds. And this did not anger God. Each time, God granted his request. (I think if I had been in God's shoes I might have said, “You know Abraham, not only am I going to destroy Sodom but I think I’m going to destroy you along with it!”) Think of Jacob wrestling with God: “I will not let you go until you bless me.” Think of Moses constantly going to God and saying, “I can’t deal with these people. You deal with them.” The examples we have in the “Bible greats” are of boldness in approaching God, boldness almost to the point of audacity.

Now this idea of persistence can get me down. It sounds too burdensome. I don’t have enough time to pray and keep on praying, right? But when I begin to feel this way, I’m going to think of Connor and his pumpkin. It is no burden to him to constantly ask me for a pumpkin. He is not sitting in school today thinking, “How can I work in enough time to ask Mom for a pumpkin today? I’ll set aside 20 minutes between play and homework. I’ll vow to do it every day. I’ll sit her down and get real serious. I’ll start a pumpkin journal. I’ll get on my hands and knees and beg for a pumpkin.” No. He’ll just blow in the door this afternoon, taking it for granted that I am glad to see him and ask for a pumpkin. He has every confidence that I will take him to get a pumpkin when I judge the time is right. And you know what? I will.

"Therefore, brothers, since we have confidence to enter the Most High Place...let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith...." Hebrews 10:19-22.

Prayer: A Quick Cell Phone Call Home

While we’re talking about prayer, here’s something I learned recently…

My 10-year-old son did sleep-away camp for the first time this summer. Now sleep-away camps are a lot different today than they were when we were kids. At least his was. He was welcome—in fact, he was encouraged--to call us by cell phone at anytime. And I can’t tell you what a comfort it was when we dropped him off to know that he would be able to call me immediately if he had a problem.

What I discovered during the week he was away, however, was that I valued the cell phone for non-emergencies as well. I truly delighted in receiving any phone call from Connor, especially those in which he wasn’t relating a problem or asking for something. I loved hearing how he and his friends were negotiating this strange new world of camp, how they learned they could order a pizza and have the camp store split the bill four ways, how he enjoyed the big breakfasts, learned a new lacrosse move, won a game, etc. The very best calls were when he called just to say “hello.” It was great to hear in his voice that he was enjoying this opportunity his father and I had provided for him, that he was thinking of us and wanted us to know what was going on in his life.

I occurred to me that God loves to get the same kind of calls from us. “Hey, I’m doing OK today. I love the food (or fun or work or whatever) you provide. I’m learning some new stuff.” Afterall, He’s the one who said we now have the status of sons in His eyes, so much so that we can call Him “Abba, Father,” an affectionate term that means Daddy. He must long to hear the same stuff we as parents long to hear from our kids.

Remembering how I loved getting those calls from Connor that said pretty much nothing--remembering God as an interested and involved parent just waiting for a call-- has encouraged me to pray more throughout the day. Quick little prayers in which I don’t really say much except, “Hey Father. I’m thinking of you. Thanks for being here with me.” We don’t always need long, formal prayer times with detailed prayer lists and open Bibles at our sides. We just need to reach out to a Father who is waiting to hear any small tidbit from kids He loves.

Continuing to Cast My Cares on Him

Last March I wrote about that ever-nerve-wracking subject of my son’s teacher placement. (See March 16 in the March archives). For me, class placement has always been scary. I have virtually no control over it. And, even if I could influence the teacher selection, I have no idea which teacher is best for son. In short, I am completely unable to manage this very big and influential area of Connor’s life—and I don’t like being unable to manage stuff. There is nothing to do in this situation but hand it over to God, which I did many times between March and August this year.

So, after all my prayers, my son ended up with the fluky, odd ball teaching situation. For two classes, he is with a teacher who has agreed to experiment with mixing borderline gifted, average and significantly challenged kids in one classroom. Consequently there is a lot of independent study going on. For two more classes he is with a teacher he had last year who he really didn’t want to have again. And for all classes there is also another experienced teacher present who is possibly the polar opposite of my son. Connor is a would-be class clown and he describes this man as having no sense of humor whatsoever.

And it is working out beautifully! Connor loves the classroom with the mix of kids, along with the independence and the leadership opportunities that are inherent in the situation. He loves the teacher he did not want to have again and somehow even the teacher with no sense of humor is adding value. Connor came in the door the other day and said, “You know, I actually like school these days.” Wow. I couldn’t have engineered that type of school year if I tried!

Oddly enough, I hesitated a bit before posting this. I found myself thinking, “It may be too good to be true.” “Maybe it won’t last.” “Who knows how these teachers will really turn out to be come June.” I realized that while I was thanking God for answering my prayers with one half of my brain, with the other half I was doubting His continued answer!

Why in the world I do not trust God to continue keeping Connor under his care in the matter of schooling, I have no idea. So, I'm back to where I was last March. I find I need to place all this back in the hands of God, and ask for His continued grace and love. And then I need to walk away, assuming that He will take care of it. Of course, knowing that He has already answered this prayer helps me to leave it in His hands again--and I guess that's a bit of what growing in faith means.

Layering Prayer Into Your Day #3

Another way that I have layered more prayer into my life is by training myself to pray anytime I wake up in the night. I am a person who falls back asleep pretty quickly but I can usually manage to pray a thought or two, something like--“Thank you God that the alarm is not going to go off for another two hours. Thank you God for this warm bed!”--and then back to snoozing. It may seem insignificant, but it has become an automatic habit no matter how groggy I am and I think it helps me feel the presence of God more continually. I also feel a sort of kinship with David and the other psalmists who wrote about praying on their beds through the night.

For lots of people, wakeful times during the night are the times they are most prone to worry or to fear. What a perfect response—to replace the habit of worrying through the night with deliberately handing over those worries to God, to replace the fearful hours with time spent asking God for safety and thanking Him for the protection He has provided so far.

Of course, if you really suffer from insomnia, you could try the old practice of counting your blessings instead of counting sheep. I personally have never been able to try this since I conk out so fast but I would imagine that if you are accustomed to tossing and turning for hours, it could be very helpful to focus your mind on remembering and repeating all the good things He has done for you, thanking Him that He has so constantly kept His eye out for you.

Praying throughout the night is a habit that took a few months for me to build since I am pretty dazed and confused at night (and I must admit I’ve found myself praying some rather odd prayers—like this morning when I woke up 15 minutes before the alarm and prayed “Oh God, please make these 15 minutes seem really long!”) but it has been worthwhile. I now immediately sense His welcoming presence and protection in the darkness. Not only do I pray more, but I also pray more continually.

Layering Prayer Into Your Day #2

Here are some other ideas for “layering” prayer into your day:

--Pick a task you do repeatedly throughout the day and use that as a trigger to pray briefly. For example, whenever you save a document or wash your hands, you can pause for a moment, thanking God for His presence and asking for His direction. This is pretty much the same idea as praying before meals—it just adds more triggers throughout your day.

--Pray as you clean the house. As you enter each new room, whisper a sentence or two about the things associated with that room. For example, pray for each for your children as you tidy their rooms or make their beds. Thank God for His constant provision as you clean the kitchen. Ask God to help you to follow His command not to worry about what to wear as you fold the laundry. You get the idea. Take it from me, it’s not easy to keep praying continuously as I clean, but it’s a lot better than grumbling and complaining my way through the chores.

--Pray when you need to spend money. About two years ago I started to pray every time I walked into the grocery store. Just a few words: Lord, help me to spend responsibly; don’t let me buy more than we need; thank you for providing for us. The first time I prayed this way a really odd thing happened. I went to pick up the first item on my list and a coupon for that item was sitting on top, like someone had decided not to use it and left it there for me. Second item, same thing happened. It happened four or five times throughout the store that day! Other odd things have happened in the two years I’ve been praying about groceries. Most frequently, the store will be out of something I am sure I need and I will get home to find that I already have that item hiding in the back of a cabinet. I’ve been extending that prayer to other types of shopping trips now, especially clothes shopping with my teenage daughter!

--Pray every time you pay a bill. For most of us, paying bills is synonymous with worry. We look at the checkbook or online banking statement and we begin to worry. When you sit down to pay the bills or balance the checkbook, thank God for providing for you, ask Him to direct your spending, pray about any specific financial concerns or just ask Him to help you break the habit of worrying about money. It can be just a 10 second prayer, but if you make it a habit to pray with every bill you pay, you’ll be praying a lot!