Surviving Holiday Entertaining: Epilogue

Phew! Thanksgiving is over and we all survived! But before we move on, one last lesson may be helpful--especially since Christmas entertaining is less than four weeks away! So, Lesson #5: remember the miracles that sat around your table on Thursday.

After entertaining it's sometimes easy to dwell on the new stain on the couch, that special piece of china that broke or the thoughtlessness of some of your guests. This year, take another page from Mary and Martha's entertaining survival guide and think for a moment about the miracles evidenced by your guest list.

That second dinner--the one where Martha served without complaint while Mary worshipped--was held at the house of a man named Simon the Leper. Now you know that lepers can't host dinners. In fact, at the time Mary and Martha lived, they were socially ostracized and forced to live away from family and friends until they died, disfigured and alone. Simon, however, had not died. God had apparently healed him of the terrible, terminal illness. Also seated around the table that day was Mary and Martha's brother, Lazarus. Lazarus actually had died from whatever illness he suffered. Yet there he was, enjoying Martha's dinner, because Jesus had miraculously raised him from the dead. Peter was at that dinner too, perhaps looking at Simon and Lazarus and thinking about his mother-in-law whom Jesus had cured of fever.

This year I sat down to celebrate Thanksgiving with my own mother-in-law. She has been cured of melanoma. My father was also at the table. He not only was healed of polio in a miraculous way as a child but also survived double bypass surgery this time last year. And my son was there--the son who has been saved from choking to death more than once.

What miracles were evidenced at your Thanksgiving dinner this year? Does the new stain on the carpet and the fact that no one helped you much really matter? You have a lasting treasure in the people with whom you celebrated and an even greater eternal treasure waiting for you in heaven.

"You...joyfully accepted the plundering of your goods, knowing that you have a better and an enduring possession for yourselves in heaven." Hebrews 10:34

Surviving Holiday Entertaining: Lesson #4

Lesson #4 from Mary and Martha's Holiday Survival Guide: Make it your goal to facilitate other people’s worship this season, even if it is only by quietly doing your job without complaint. I find it interesting that at the second dinner where we meet Mary and Martha (John 12:1-3), the only thing the Bible tells us about Martha is that she served—-no details, no discussion. It seems that this time Martha served without worry, without drawing attention to herself and without caring that certain others were not helping her.

At this second dinner, Martha’s sister Mary was once again not helping in the kitchen. But apparently this time Martha didn’t complain and didn’t try to force Mary into doing some work. Martha’s restraint left Mary free to engage in an extraordinary act of worship. Martha’s willingness to serve the dinner without Mary’s help actually facilitated Mary’s worship. Interesting to think that Martha’s complaining could have wrecked the spirit of worship created by Mary. Instead, her background presence in the kitchen enhanced it.

My goal this Thanksgiving is to create an atmosphere that allows others to worship more fully. I’m not quite sure how I can affirmatively do that but, at minimum, I know that complaining about being in the kitchen is NOT the way to go about it. I know it is easy during the holidays to begin to feel that you are doing all the work while others have all the fun, but it may help to realize that your quiet service, your lack of complaint, and your peaceful spirit may actually enhance others' worship during the holidays. Have you been praying for a spouse, a parent or a child to somehow enter in to a deeper relationship with Christ during these holidays? Your attitude during the hubbub this Thursday may be a key to how your loved one responds to Christ this season--and here you thought all you held in your hands was an oven mitt and a bowl of mashed potatoes!

How good and pleasant it is when brothers [and sisters, parents, children, in-laws, aunts and uncles] live together in unity! It is like precious oil poured on the head....Psalm 133:1-2

Surviving Holiday Entertaining: Lesson #3

Back to Mary and Martha's Holiday Entertaining Survival Guide. Lesson #3 comes from the second dinner in the New Testament where we meet Mary and Martha found in John 12:1-3. At this particular dinner, Martha served while Mary came to the table and poured expensive perfume on Jesus' feet, wiping His feet with her hair in a lavish display of worship. The house was filled with the aroma of the perfume.

Lesson # 3: This Thanksgiving, fill your house with the fragrance of worship. There are so many great smells that will waft through our homes this Thursday--the roasting turkey, the hot apple cider, the fire crackling in the fireplace, and the pumpkin pie baking in the oven. When I was a kid, I just thought of these scents as an automatic and natural part of the holidays. As an adult, I realize that they are all created by someone's thought and hard work--often mine! But there's another part of the atmosphere I want to concentrate on creating this year--one that will seem natural to the holidays as my kids look back on them in future years. Like a fragrance, the aura of worship, the attitude of praise, and the actual giving of thanks, can permeate the house and the celebration.

"Then Mary took about a pint of pure nard, an expensive perfume; she poured it on Jesus' feet and wiped his feet with her hair. And the house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume. John 12:3

Surviving Holiday Entertaining: Lesson #2

When you feel yourself getting worried and upset by the “many things,” bring your focus back to the one thing that is necessary.

For those few of you who are faithful blog readers, you know I've talked about this one necessary thing before. Unfortuantely, I need to keep reminding myself about it! My Bible practically falls open to the first dinner where we meet Mary and Martha. If you remember, Martha was busily preparing dinner while Mary was, in Martha's opinion, lazily sitting at Jesus' feet. Jesus told Martha that Mary had chosen to spend her time more wisely. (You can read the story at Luke 10:38-42.)

I always felt a bit sorry for Martha. I mean, after all, someone has to make the dinner, right? But as I read the story more closely I get the impression that the problem was not that Martha was making dinner. The problem was that Martha, in Jesus’ words, was “worried and upset by many things,” forgetting that only one thing was really needed. She lost track of what was truly important that day.

I believe it is possible for each of us to serve a wonderful and memorable Thanksgiving dinner to a house full of guests without becoming worried and upset by many things. But it will only be possible if we remember that just one thing is actually necessary in our guests' lives (as well as our own). And it will only be possible if we remember that the one necessary thing is not going to be on the table or in the centerpiece or freshly organized coat closet no matter how hard we try to make those things perfect. The one necessary thing will be Jesus and He will be there no matter what else is served. So this year, when I begin to feel distracted and distressed by the many things on my Thanksgiving "to do" list, I'm going to take a deep breath and try to focus back for a moment or two on the one thing that is truly necessary.

"Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "You are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better and it will not be taken from her." Luke 10:41-42

Surviving Holiday Entertaining: Lesson #1

Thanksgiving is a little more than a week away and I have to admit that what is foremost in my mind is all that I have to do between now and then to get dinner for 14 on the table. I mean, much as I enjoy it--or maybe because I enjoy it--I get totally ridiculous about entertaining. I will think about the big day almost every waking moment throughout the next week. I have lists on top of lists: every item of food that will be served, every serving dish that will be needed, the non-perishable grocery list, the perishable grocery list, the cleaning that I will do this weekend, the tablecloths to press, etc. In years past I’ve found it’s pretty hard to keep God at the top of my “to do” list as the holidays approach.

This year, however, I’m going to try harder to keep the holidays in perspective and God as my priority. My plan of attack is to keep in mind some key lessons from two New Testament stories about hosting dinner. You can read about the two dinners in Luke 10:38-42 and John 12:1-3.

The first dinner was at the home of Lazarus, Mary and Martha. Martha scrambled to get dinner ready and, predictably, became frustrated and freaked out by all the preparations. Mary, by contrast, sat at Jesus’ feet and drank in everything He was saying. Jesus commented that Mary had made the better choice that day. The second dinner was nearby at the home of a man called Simon the Leper. John tells us that Lazarus was a guest and Martha served the dinner. During dinner, Mary came in and poured expensive perfume on Jesus, filling the house with the aroma of this lavish act of worship. You can probably draw about a hundred lessons of your own from these two simple stories, but here is one I’m going to try to concentrate on throughout the holiday season:

Even as feast preparations ramp up, keep sitting at the feet of Jesus. I don’t know about you, but when I get busy, daily Bible reading and a quiet prayer time alone with God--in other words, the way we sit at Jesus’ feet today--are two of the first things I jettison in order to make time for all the extra grocery shopping, cooking and cleaning. I don’t do it intentionally--somehow it just happens as other things crowd Jesus out. But I'm going to try to remember that, as between Martha ignoring Jesus so she could prepare dinner and Mary ignoring dinner so she could spend time with Jesus, Jesus said Mary made the better choice.

So, lesson #1: this holiday season I am going find a quiet place to read and pray at least once a day, every day, no matter what. I’m going to make it a priority to keep sitting at the feet of Jesus even if a few little household tasks don’t get done and the cranberry sauce is not homemade this year. No one, except of course Jesus, will notice this little interruption in my usual busyness. And after all, the kids still like Boston Market—-or for that matter, a can of Spaghettios—-better than my most lavish and complicated holiday feast.

What Would You Do with a Year's Salary?

What would you do with a year's salary? Say someone just handed it to you in addition to your normal earnings? Would you put a down payment on a house...or a bigger house? Pay off your student loans...or put it away for the kids' college fund? Splurge a little and then put the rest in savings?

Or how about a year's worth of time? Say someone said you could do anything you wanted for one year? What would you do with your time?

Do you remember the story of Mary of Bethany? She had a pint of pure nard worth more than a year's salary. It was the kind of thing you saved for an event like your daughter's wedding or passed down to the next generation. Instead, she broke it open and poured it--all of it all at once--on Jesus' feet. She squandered a valuable family asset on a one time act of worship. The "wastefulness" of her act was so apparent that some of the people present started complaining that she should have sold the ointment and given the money to the poor.

Try thinking for a few minutes about what you can "squander" for God--for the sheer love of God. Money? Time? A natural talent or a skill? Come up with something so outrageous that the people around you would be bound to start saying "What a waste!"

I like this exercise. It is fun to let my imagination run wild. And it gets me out of the "tithing" mindset and into the "all in" mindset. Go ahead. Try it. Come up with some incredible way to show your overwhelming love for God. Now pray for the opportunity to go ahead and do it.

Then Mary took about a pint of pure nard, an expensive perfume; she poured it on Jesus' feet and wiped his feet with her hair. And the house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume. John 12:3

Hearing God

Last week there was a discussion in the comments section about hearing God when He speaks. I happened to read this morning Elisabeth Elliot's thoughts on the topic. As a young woman she was bewildered about how God speaks to His followers. She often feared she would miss anything God might say to her and that she consequently would fail to follow Him. Here's what she says now in Keep a Quiet Heart:

It is not a worry anymore. Experience has taught me that the Shepherd is far more willing to show His sheep the path than the sheep are to follow. He is endlessly merciful, patient, tender, and loving. If we, His stupid and wayward sheep, really want to be led, we will without fail be led. Of that I am sure.

When we need help, we wish we knew somebody who is wise enough to tell us what to do, reachable when we need him, and even able to help us. God is. Omniscient, omnipresent, omnipotent--everything we need. The issue is confidence in the Shepherd Himself, a confidence so complete that we offer ourselves without any reservation whatsoever and determine to do what He says.

What He says? But how shall I know that?...

Although people in Bible times often heard God speak, we can expect that He will usually speak today through conscience, through the written Word, through other people, and through events. Events themselves, the seemingly insignificant happenings of every day, reveal the will of God. They are the will of God for us, for while we live, move, and have our being here on earth, in this place, this family, this house, this job, we live, move, and have our being in God. He "pulls strings through circumstances," as Jim Elliot said, even the bad circumstances (see Genesis 45:8, 50:20).

Three questions may help to clarify the call of God. Have I made up my mind to do what He says, no matter what the cost? Am I faithfully reading His Word and praying? Am I obedient in what I know today of His will?

By the way, if you've been reading this blog for any length of time you know I am a fan of Elisabeth Elliot's devotional writing. You'll be able to see her amazing story in theaters when the movie, The End of the Spear, comes out in January '06. The early reviews say the movie is extremely well done.

Visiting with Zacchaeus Again

Zacchaeus' enthusiasm didn't stop with climbing a tree to make sure he got a good view of Jesus. When Jesus asked him to come down and take Him home to dinner, we read that Zacchaeus came down "at once" and welcomed Jesus gladly. He didn't act embarrassed at the attention his enthusiasm had attracted. He didn't think, "Whoa, this is more than I bargained for." He didn't say, "I better ask my wife first," or "Come tomorrow. I have to clean the house first." He just jumped down out of the tree and took Jesus home.

Having gotten to know Jesus over dinner, Zacchaeus quickly and more fully committed himself, announcing publicly that, right then and there, he was giving half of all he owned to the poor. (Now even if you or I would climb down out of a tree without hesitation, I bet we'd hesitate before giving away our stuff.) And finally Zacchaeus really went overboard. He announced that if he had ever cheated anyone, he would repay four times the amount he had taken.

Here's how Zacchaeus made Jesus his top priority:
--he overcame all obstacles to see him,
--he took Jesus home to where he lived,
--he took a hard look at his life and decided what needed to change, and
--he did it immediately.

Not a bad example to follow.

Overcoming Obstacles to Meet with Jesus

Remember those stories about servants and their enthusiasm (or lack thereof) for investing their master's property (October 21, 2005 and October 25, 2005)? Jesus told one of those stories while having dinner with Zacchaeus, a real live example of someone who showed just the right kind of investment initiative and enthusiam.

Remember Zacchaeus? When he first appeared in Luke 19:1 he didn't know Jesus but he really wanted to see Him. In fact, he wanted to see Jesus so badly he did something some of us would never dream of doing. He climbed a tree. Good grief. I can barely set the alarm clock a couple minutes early in order to meet with Jesus. (And I'll admit I also find it hard to turn off the TV for a half hour or keep my eyes open a few extra minutes at night to breath a prayer or read a few verses.)

Zacchaeus had a couple of excuses that would have been reason enough to give up on seeing Jesus that day. First, it was hard. Zacchaeus would have to fight the crowds. To make matters worse, he had an inherent physical disadvantage when it came to seeing in a crowd. He was short.

But Zaccaeus didn't let the crowds, his own physical limitations, laziness or a lack of creative thinking get in the way of his goal. He made it a priority to figure out a way to get to Jesus that day. He determined the route Jesus would travel, ran ahead of the crowd, and climbed up into a tree. The result: he got a personal audience with Jesus when Jesus saw him there waiting.

If we want to move God to the top of our "to do" lists we can do no better than to follow the example of Zaccaeus: overcome all obstacles--whether our crowded lives or personal limitations--to meet with Him.