Just in time for the holidays I found this blog written by Sandy Coughlin: 4 Reluctant Entertainers , a Chrisian who loves blessing others by having them to her home. Since one of my goals in entertaining is to be a Mary--who has plenty of time to sit at the feet of Jesus--rather than a Martha--who is freaking out, I thought Sandy's tips would be helpful.

To read more about Mary and Martha and holiday entertaining: Mary and Martha's Holiday Survival Guide, six posts about my trying to remember the one necessary thing while entertaining during the holidays.

Holiday Crush

You can see from the infrequency of my posting this month that I am already feeling the rush of the holidays. What I want to know is, how many years do you have to do the family's Thanksgiving dinner before it becomes routine?

If you are as busy as I am, you probably don't have time to read blogs anyway, but if you find yourself with time on your hands you might want to check out the November 2005 archives for Mary and Martha's Entertainment Survival Guide: 5 Ways to Stay Sane Through the Holidays. It's all about focusing on that one necessary thing that might not even have made your "to do" list yet.

Surviving Holiday Entertaining: Epilogue

Phew! Thanksgiving is over and we all survived! But before we move on, one last lesson may be helpful--especially since Christmas entertaining is less than four weeks away! So, Lesson #5: remember the miracles that sat around your table on Thursday.

After entertaining it's sometimes easy to dwell on the new stain on the couch, that special piece of china that broke or the thoughtlessness of some of your guests. This year, take another page from Mary and Martha's entertaining survival guide and think for a moment about the miracles evidenced by your guest list.

That second dinner--the one where Martha served without complaint while Mary worshipped--was held at the house of a man named Simon the Leper. Now you know that lepers can't host dinners. In fact, at the time Mary and Martha lived, they were socially ostracized and forced to live away from family and friends until they died, disfigured and alone. Simon, however, had not died. God had apparently healed him of the terrible, terminal illness. Also seated around the table that day was Mary and Martha's brother, Lazarus. Lazarus actually had died from whatever illness he suffered. Yet there he was, enjoying Martha's dinner, because Jesus had miraculously raised him from the dead. Peter was at that dinner too, perhaps looking at Simon and Lazarus and thinking about his mother-in-law whom Jesus had cured of fever.

This year I sat down to celebrate Thanksgiving with my own mother-in-law. She has been cured of melanoma. My father was also at the table. He not only was healed of polio in a miraculous way as a child but also survived double bypass surgery this time last year. And my son was there--the son who has been saved from choking to death more than once.

What miracles were evidenced at your Thanksgiving dinner this year? Does the new stain on the carpet and the fact that no one helped you much really matter? You have a lasting treasure in the people with whom you celebrated and an even greater eternal treasure waiting for you in heaven.

"You...joyfully accepted the plundering of your goods, knowing that you have a better and an enduring possession for yourselves in heaven." Hebrews 10:34

Surviving Holiday Entertaining: Lesson #4

Lesson #4 from Mary and Martha's Holiday Survival Guide: Make it your goal to facilitate other people’s worship this season, even if it is only by quietly doing your job without complaint. I find it interesting that at the second dinner where we meet Mary and Martha (John 12:1-3), the only thing the Bible tells us about Martha is that she served—-no details, no discussion. It seems that this time Martha served without worry, without drawing attention to herself and without caring that certain others were not helping her.

At this second dinner, Martha’s sister Mary was once again not helping in the kitchen. But apparently this time Martha didn’t complain and didn’t try to force Mary into doing some work. Martha’s restraint left Mary free to engage in an extraordinary act of worship. Martha’s willingness to serve the dinner without Mary’s help actually facilitated Mary’s worship. Interesting to think that Martha’s complaining could have wrecked the spirit of worship created by Mary. Instead, her background presence in the kitchen enhanced it.

My goal this Thanksgiving is to create an atmosphere that allows others to worship more fully. I’m not quite sure how I can affirmatively do that but, at minimum, I know that complaining about being in the kitchen is NOT the way to go about it. I know it is easy during the holidays to begin to feel that you are doing all the work while others have all the fun, but it may help to realize that your quiet service, your lack of complaint, and your peaceful spirit may actually enhance others' worship during the holidays. Have you been praying for a spouse, a parent or a child to somehow enter in to a deeper relationship with Christ during these holidays? Your attitude during the hubbub this Thursday may be a key to how your loved one responds to Christ this season--and here you thought all you held in your hands was an oven mitt and a bowl of mashed potatoes!

How good and pleasant it is when brothers [and sisters, parents, children, in-laws, aunts and uncles] live together in unity! It is like precious oil poured on the head....Psalm 133:1-2

Surviving Holiday Entertaining: Lesson #3

Back to Mary and Martha's Holiday Entertaining Survival Guide. Lesson #3 comes from the second dinner in the New Testament where we meet Mary and Martha found in John 12:1-3. At this particular dinner, Martha served while Mary came to the table and poured expensive perfume on Jesus' feet, wiping His feet with her hair in a lavish display of worship. The house was filled with the aroma of the perfume.

Lesson # 3: This Thanksgiving, fill your house with the fragrance of worship. There are so many great smells that will waft through our homes this Thursday--the roasting turkey, the hot apple cider, the fire crackling in the fireplace, and the pumpkin pie baking in the oven. When I was a kid, I just thought of these scents as an automatic and natural part of the holidays. As an adult, I realize that they are all created by someone's thought and hard work--often mine! But there's another part of the atmosphere I want to concentrate on creating this year--one that will seem natural to the holidays as my kids look back on them in future years. Like a fragrance, the aura of worship, the attitude of praise, and the actual giving of thanks, can permeate the house and the celebration.

"Then Mary took about a pint of pure nard, an expensive perfume; she poured it on Jesus' feet and wiped his feet with her hair. And the house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume. John 12:3

Surviving Holiday Entertaining: Lesson #2

When you feel yourself getting worried and upset by the “many things,” bring your focus back to the one thing that is necessary.

For those few of you who are faithful blog readers, you know I've talked about this one necessary thing before. Unfortuantely, I need to keep reminding myself about it! My Bible practically falls open to the first dinner where we meet Mary and Martha. If you remember, Martha was busily preparing dinner while Mary was, in Martha's opinion, lazily sitting at Jesus' feet. Jesus told Martha that Mary had chosen to spend her time more wisely. (You can read the story at Luke 10:38-42.)

I always felt a bit sorry for Martha. I mean, after all, someone has to make the dinner, right? But as I read the story more closely I get the impression that the problem was not that Martha was making dinner. The problem was that Martha, in Jesus’ words, was “worried and upset by many things,” forgetting that only one thing was really needed. She lost track of what was truly important that day.

I believe it is possible for each of us to serve a wonderful and memorable Thanksgiving dinner to a house full of guests without becoming worried and upset by many things. But it will only be possible if we remember that just one thing is actually necessary in our guests' lives (as well as our own). And it will only be possible if we remember that the one necessary thing is not going to be on the table or in the centerpiece or freshly organized coat closet no matter how hard we try to make those things perfect. The one necessary thing will be Jesus and He will be there no matter what else is served. So this year, when I begin to feel distracted and distressed by the many things on my Thanksgiving "to do" list, I'm going to take a deep breath and try to focus back for a moment or two on the one thing that is truly necessary.

"Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "You are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better and it will not be taken from her." Luke 10:41-42

Surviving Holiday Entertaining: Lesson #1

Thanksgiving is a little more than a week away and I have to admit that what is foremost in my mind is all that I have to do between now and then to get dinner for 14 on the table. I mean, much as I enjoy it--or maybe because I enjoy it--I get totally ridiculous about entertaining. I will think about the big day almost every waking moment throughout the next week. I have lists on top of lists: every item of food that will be served, every serving dish that will be needed, the non-perishable grocery list, the perishable grocery list, the cleaning that I will do this weekend, the tablecloths to press, etc. In years past I’ve found it’s pretty hard to keep God at the top of my “to do” list as the holidays approach.

This year, however, I’m going to try harder to keep the holidays in perspective and God as my priority. My plan of attack is to keep in mind some key lessons from two New Testament stories about hosting dinner. You can read about the two dinners in Luke 10:38-42 and John 12:1-3.

The first dinner was at the home of Lazarus, Mary and Martha. Martha scrambled to get dinner ready and, predictably, became frustrated and freaked out by all the preparations. Mary, by contrast, sat at Jesus’ feet and drank in everything He was saying. Jesus commented that Mary had made the better choice that day. The second dinner was nearby at the home of a man called Simon the Leper. John tells us that Lazarus was a guest and Martha served the dinner. During dinner, Mary came in and poured expensive perfume on Jesus, filling the house with the aroma of this lavish act of worship. You can probably draw about a hundred lessons of your own from these two simple stories, but here is one I’m going to try to concentrate on throughout the holiday season:

Even as feast preparations ramp up, keep sitting at the feet of Jesus. I don’t know about you, but when I get busy, daily Bible reading and a quiet prayer time alone with God--in other words, the way we sit at Jesus’ feet today--are two of the first things I jettison in order to make time for all the extra grocery shopping, cooking and cleaning. I don’t do it intentionally--somehow it just happens as other things crowd Jesus out. But I'm going to try to remember that, as between Martha ignoring Jesus so she could prepare dinner and Mary ignoring dinner so she could spend time with Jesus, Jesus said Mary made the better choice.

So, lesson #1: this holiday season I am going find a quiet place to read and pray at least once a day, every day, no matter what. I’m going to make it a priority to keep sitting at the feet of Jesus even if a few little household tasks don’t get done and the cranberry sauce is not homemade this year. No one, except of course Jesus, will notice this little interruption in my usual busyness. And after all, the kids still like Boston Market—-or for that matter, a can of Spaghettios—-better than my most lavish and complicated holiday feast.